Being a girl...

 It's been so many years of me being a girl and yet I am unable to get the real deed about being one!

It's most of the times irritating and illogical as I see it but still somehow, it all makes sense to me, I find it all relatable. 

What is being a girl or  woman like? No, I am not talking about things that are controversial or "feministic" in nature or the struggles and ill-treatments they have to face. That's a long, deep mystery, only God knows when it's all gonna unravel. And most of all, I think that's not my field of expertise either, no offense though. .

What I want to say is that- what being a girl or a woman means- psychologically? Their thoughts, their thinking patterns, their level of maturity or immaturity, how they handle different sorts of relationships and all. 

I think that's something I have done my research on (not literally😅) and here ironically got nowhere, found nothing, understood nil but related truly to much extent.  

It's always said that women handle relationships pretty well, they have their so called great managing skills too. What I always wanted to know was if I am also one of them- a girl, a woman, a lady or whatever. 

I never completely related to them... like how does it matter if in grade 7 your friend sits with another classmate, Why do you need to think that she's breaking your friendship over another girl? And strangely enough all that was not just a case of insecurity but came to be true !!!

How does it matter if in grade 12, some friend of yours tells something about you casually to some other girl. Why does it necessarily mean bitching or in-considering your emotions !

Why cannot it be a slip of tongue or something she might have found relatable with that person, so she blurt it out. But then again- that was your thing, and something meant to be only between the two of you right!!

I can relate. I don't know exactly since when I started relating to all of this. 

The other side has their reason or whatever. But the thing is HOW CAN YOU EVEN BY MISTAKE TALK ABOUT SOMETHING BETWEEN US TO ANYONE ELSE!!?

This is the thing that I don't get even now...and not specifically for girls but for people in general too. 

Anyways, there's one thing what I find cute and strange and foolish at the same time about girls that they can be worst and enemies and the best friends with the same person genuinely.

How can they be jealous of a boy 'stealing' their friend but at the same time hope them to find a boy!!

How can they think that if they tell everything to someone; on that exact same thing and more things they need to know anything about someone or something or anything !!

How can they be offended that they don't talk much as they used to but it hurts but it doesn't matter, but it does, but it makes and doesn't make sense at the same time! Just how girls!!

And how does it make sense that it affects you in anyway! It's practically none of your business. (Oops..sry about that ..hehe)

And I thought this all was just the case with girls-teenagers, some in their 20's or so but this is the exact same case with elder women, maybe in an updated version. I just don't know how, there is a huge difference between a boy and a man but I find little to very little to no difference in terms of temperament and behavior between a girl and a woman. 

They want to be cared for unexpectedly, in the most natural way that can exist. And they really EXPECT for it to happen but want it to feel like it was unexpected. 

They NEED someone to make them feel special and for those women who are special to themselves, treat themselves as their first priority; I don't know how that does work but what I feel like is in most of the cases or almost all the cases, it is not so . They don't actually prioritize themselves but rather the belief that they are doing it. There might be actually some real cases, regarding this thing about prioritizing oneself and I am sure there ARE but the number I think is not that great, may be increasing but not that great. That's what I am almost sure about completely.

Now, here I am not trying to be 'feministic'(though there's nothing wrong even if I am trying to be one...but whatever) or so like I said in the beginning so I won't extend this any further. After all, that's something we all know!!

But, let me try to get more straight- keeping in mind the thing that I am just trying to actually find the real deed behind a woman's thoughts. 

So, what makes a woman or a girl psychologically weak? It's dependence- dependence on any other person except themselves even if it's a girl, a sister or mother. They are- most of them are, maybe me too...dependent. 

And maybe since, I am also one of OUR kind, I find it extremely relatable but still it's illogical to me, foolish in my eyes and yet makes sense. 

Maybe the me which is speaking right now is immaturity underneath these fancy words and a lot of confusion regarding things, but since I am just trying to figure things out let's forgive my little self for the nuances ,a little longer. Maybe, by the end of this article I am still not able to figure things out, maybe all of us can't now, but maybe one day we all do!

Yes, we are far more than this and that, this and that relationship, this and that work, responsibilities and what not...we know that . But in reality WE ONLY KNOW THAT...that we are far more than anything but what exactly- it's unknown! 

Maybe, the day we find that unknown within us, we actually become the real deed but who knows when. Who knows when we all will get into action instead of thinking like this or writing something like this! Who knows, when we all will stop pondering further about our whatnot situations!

Now, this is to clarify above that I actually don't get the meaning of feminism or so (maybe one day I will). And even if this article is feminist in nature, the truth which can not be changed is that the cause of all the things happening to us is us ourselves, because we want to be pampered, cared for and it's not a bad thing I can relate, I know that infact... that it's not! 

It all is relatable and makes sense to me and yet all of the things we do and seek is illogical and foolish to me. 

@jyotika